And the Saga continues...

I know I haven't talked about the Son in a while. Truth is, there wasn't much to say while he wasn't speaking to me.  A lot has happened since then.

Right before the Son was to leave for college, he was pulled over and charged with underage consumption. The cop called me because they could not reach his dad.  The officer just wanted someone to come and get him so they did not have to arrest him.  I was able to reach his Dad and had him pick him up.

His father would not help him get his car out of impound so the money he had saved was spent on that and then calls me for gas money.  I couldn't turn him down. He has to get to work.

So he moves out of the apt. and is off to college.  It lasted a day before I received a phone call talking about how much he hated it. He hated his roommates, the classes, the apt. EVERYTHING. All he wanted to do was come back home.  He was upset and drove like a mad man talking on the phone to me. Scared me to death. Car ended up on the side of the road. One of his friends helped him out and he did go to classes the next day.  He called me from school, saying he wants to quit and move back.  School lasted a total of 4 days. Three really when you look at it.  I was able to get off rather light on the bills for that for what I can tell.  There wasn't that much on the loan yet and I just lost all of the deposit money etc. on the apt.  He had to have some money to get his car and stuff home but he did. Of course he is mad, saying I have left him homeless.  I did point out he had a perfectly good apartment at college and he didn't stay. The fact he has no place to live is not mine.  So, was mad and there you go.  This was during the first full week in August.

So, he is couch diving.  The way I see it, there were several kids that practically lived at our house during high school. I fed them, laundry etc.  Their parents OWE ME.  At any rate, his car is falling apart, he sleeps in his car some when it's too late to go to some one's home etc.  I have been helping him some with money, as I can.

His birthday was the 31st of August.  I helped him get a new vehicle with my Mom for his 18th birthday.  The insurance is going to be expensive but it is what it is.

His dad apparently didn't do much of anything.  He just called me and said he told him dad work was slow and asked him for some money and his dad shut him down, saying he would've stayed in school.  I can understand his dad being angry but he wasn't paying for it.  Also, if the Son doesn't want to go to school, well, it happens.  The Dad didn't go to school either and yes, has not a lot to his name so his son followed in his footsteps.  How does he have the right to be mad?  He never wanted him to be like me anyway.

The Dad always complained how he had no impact in his upbringing etc. Of course, he wouldn't drive over to see him and alienated him every chance he got. No wonder!  I think that even thought the Son sidled up to the Dad in June, he realizes, I'm not such the monster he always thought I was before. He is trying to get it together and for that I am thankful.

He called out of the blue right before his birthday telling me he wanted to go back on his medication. He said he stopped smoking pot and wanted to go back on his anti-depressants.  I called the pharmacy and so now he is on his medication.  That makes me very happy.  He seems to think much clearer when he is on his medication.  For him, his life is rough.  It is much rougher than anything he had ever experienced before anyway.  A certain amount of that is good for him and the fact he has no place to live is no ones fault but his own.  He refuses to live with his dad, he will not live at our farm or with my mother etc.  He has places to go but doesn't want to go to them.  That I cannot help. That is his choice and he has to live with that.  I do suspect it isn't as bad as he makes it out to be but I am 900 miles away and can't see for myself.

I will be trying to go up north this fall and will also try to get him to come down for a visit during the holidays if I can. I miss him, regardless of our past. He is my Son, my biggest weakness.

A Tribute

Daisy is CC's golden retriever. He has had her since she was a puppy and has been with him through a lot of trials and tribulations.  She is funny and acts just like a teenager.  She is oblivious to criticism and does things all in her own time.  It provides us with a lot of smiles.

Just look at this face!

Daisy was diagnosed last week with cancer of the spleen, hemangiosarcoma.  She hasn't eaten properly and had stopped eating all together.  We took her in, she was diagnosed, and we have spent the weekend hoping the medicine and diet changes would help improve her state.  It hasn't.  CC has been torn all weekend, this has been very unexpected and a devastating blow.  She has been lying around, doing very little and is not herself. It is sad to watch.  She typically is so playful.  She never met a toy that didn't need to have its stuffing spread all over the floor, a squeaky toy that needed to be permanently silenced.  We have been trying everything. Trying to improve her quality of life for the time she has left.  She doesn't even tear the toys up anymore.  It is so disheartening.

I have ALL the toys!

She is a very special dog.  When CC and I first got together, I wasn't really sure about being a dog owner.  I mean, I had a dog, but a Pomeranian but two bigger dogs are very different.  The Pom did not sleep with me and really was too small to make a mess.  CC's dogs slept with him and I wasn't fond of that but I decided to give it a chance.  CC's girls sold me.  They have always slept with us.  We bought a king size bed that sat really close to the ground for the dogs.  We wanted space for us but also wanted the dogs to have room and be able to get in and out as they age. We really didn't anticipate the need so soon.

Daisy and I lazing about

We are taking Daisy to the vet tomorrow.  I don't believe she will be coming home with us. It has been a difficult weekend and we don't want her to suffer. The weekend has been filled with many tears and thoughts and memories of beloved Daisy.

I am really glad I had the painting made of the girls last year.  We now have it framed and hanging in our guest room.  It turned out wonderful and now that it's framed it looks even better.

It's been hard watching her decline and equally as hard to watch CC worrying, watching and struggling to cope with something that was practically sprung upon him.  He has had no time to prepare, I wish there was something I could do to take the pain away from him and from Daisy but I can't. All I can do is be here and be supportive.  I hope that it's enough.