Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Mother's Day Woes
So I booked a flight to spend Mother's day up north with my mom as it is her first Mother's day without her mother. I spoke with her today. First her line was busy. I finally got through and she was tearful. She said she has been on the phone with her brother. I asked what was wrong, and she replies that dealing with the aftermath of my grandmother's death has been overwhelming. It is full of paperwork, bills, taxes, will, etc. I can see where it is overwhelming. It is always someone else to notify, something to address... The funeral which seems as as a closing, is really only the beginning. This process can last for quite some time. I wish there was more I can do for her, but all I can do is listen. Makes it a bit hard when she is repetitive as she has been drinking, but I do. I finally got her off of the phone and she is looking forward to my visit. I hope this weekend helps. Its my best hope.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
I will be better... I will be better... I will be better....
The best laid plans... The best intentions... I'm full of them. I wanted to blog more often. I was going to make time... How is it I had more time to do more things in my youth than I do now? When my son was small, I worked 5 days a week, day shift in the hospital, every other weekend. I had time to bake cookies, craft, do projects I enjoyed all while taking care of him, the house etc. Now in my mid 40's, it seems I have no time at all. I am constantly having to make decisions on how to use any free time I may have. Something is always getting left out. Funny how life works like that.
Well, the latest news is I'm going to be a MiMi (Grandma is reserved for my grandmother). The Son and the Girlfriend will be having a baby boy in July. I have had time to embrace the idea but I must say I wish they would have waited. They are so young (and broke). It makes it hard. Money will be just one more thing to argue about. I hope it is the opposite and they become closer because of it but as a "glass half empty" I'm not holding my breath. I have spent some of my free time making things for the baby. I made all of the crib accessories. Sheets, blankets, pillow shams, etc. Don't let anyone tell you it's cheaper to make things than buy them. I have spent a small fortune. But, as the colors are tangerine and dove gray, the options for buying items is a big slim to none. So, I broke out the sewing machine and dove in. Funny thing is, I haven't used a sewing machine since my son was a baby so 18-20 years? One of those things I just haven't had time for. I donated mine to my ex brother-in-law before one of my many moves years ago because of that. Two years ago, I asked CC to get me one for Christmas with the idea I was going to make things for the house. After I received it, I had no inspiration. Go figure. So, baby on the way was my inspiration finally. I'm very rusty and I can find all the flaws, but the Girlfriend seems happy with what I have made and that is what counts.
On a sad note, my Grandmother passed in late February. She lived a long and productive live. She lived at home until the past year and she only spent 10 months in the nursing home. she was 90. My mom was quite distraught as you can imagine. But, since the funeral I have seen a change in my mother. She seems to have a weight lifted off of her shoulders. I think the sadness and grief knowing your mother is dying was wearing on her. Now there is a closure, no more waiting for it to happen. She is still sad but seems to be relieved of the weight. Her drinking has decreased and she seems healthier than she has in a long time even though she is still declining physically. On my last visit north, she wore makeup, jewelry, etc. She looked good. We went shopping and she was able to do more walking than I have seen her do in recent months. It was good to see. I will be traveling north on Friday to spend the weekend with my mother. As it is Mother's Day, I wanted to be with her. It will be her first she will spend without her mother. I do worry about her being so far away. She refuses to move or even visit me here in Florida. She is a grown woman and an adult so she can do as she wishes but it would be nice if she visited me.
Well, the latest news is I'm going to be a MiMi (Grandma is reserved for my grandmother). The Son and the Girlfriend will be having a baby boy in July. I have had time to embrace the idea but I must say I wish they would have waited. They are so young (and broke). It makes it hard. Money will be just one more thing to argue about. I hope it is the opposite and they become closer because of it but as a "glass half empty" I'm not holding my breath. I have spent some of my free time making things for the baby. I made all of the crib accessories. Sheets, blankets, pillow shams, etc. Don't let anyone tell you it's cheaper to make things than buy them. I have spent a small fortune. But, as the colors are tangerine and dove gray, the options for buying items is a big slim to none. So, I broke out the sewing machine and dove in. Funny thing is, I haven't used a sewing machine since my son was a baby so 18-20 years? One of those things I just haven't had time for. I donated mine to my ex brother-in-law before one of my many moves years ago because of that. Two years ago, I asked CC to get me one for Christmas with the idea I was going to make things for the house. After I received it, I had no inspiration. Go figure. So, baby on the way was my inspiration finally. I'm very rusty and I can find all the flaws, but the Girlfriend seems happy with what I have made and that is what counts.
On a sad note, my Grandmother passed in late February. She lived a long and productive live. She lived at home until the past year and she only spent 10 months in the nursing home. she was 90. My mom was quite distraught as you can imagine. But, since the funeral I have seen a change in my mother. She seems to have a weight lifted off of her shoulders. I think the sadness and grief knowing your mother is dying was wearing on her. Now there is a closure, no more waiting for it to happen. She is still sad but seems to be relieved of the weight. Her drinking has decreased and she seems healthier than she has in a long time even though she is still declining physically. On my last visit north, she wore makeup, jewelry, etc. She looked good. We went shopping and she was able to do more walking than I have seen her do in recent months. It was good to see. I will be traveling north on Friday to spend the weekend with my mother. As it is Mother's Day, I wanted to be with her. It will be her first she will spend without her mother. I do worry about her being so far away. She refuses to move or even visit me here in Florida. She is a grown woman and an adult so she can do as she wishes but it would be nice if she visited me.
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