It has been since the first of June since I have spoken, truly spoken to the Son. He still refuses to speak to me as I will not apologize for "fucking him over". I really don't see defending myself and telling the truth as such but there you are. I miss him desperately. I want nothing for the best for him. He has texted twice for money which I gave him and that may have been wrong but I did.
I spoke to his recruiter who has kept in touch with him and the Son did attend orientation and according to the recruiter, is planning on moving to the dormitory/apartment at the end of the month. He spoke with the Son earlier on the day I called so that is some good news. I texted the Son about what day he was planning on moving and he said he didn't know. I told him I wanted to send him some money for sheets, etc. and to tell him about the items in storage for his move but he didn't text back. I hate this and I am hoping eventually he grows up but what if he doesn't? What if this is never straightened out? I don't like not speaking with the Son or what is going on in his life. Although "ignorance is bliss" or at least that is what they say, it drives me a bit nuts. Don't get me wrong, I would not have changed my decision to move and be with CC over any of this but I wish somehow the Son would have been mature enough to understand. All he says he feels is abandoned and betrayed. Although this is manipulative, it does hurt regardless of what common sense tells me.
From what I understand, the Dad didn't help him get his car out of impound, he still hasn't paid any child support since March (I have started proceedings about that) and basically, doesn't do anything much for him. But the Son will talk with him. Somehow, there are some flaws in his logic. Not about money but I have always been the one there for him time after time but yet he will still talk with the Dad and not me. For some reason, one strike and I'm out. Nothing that happens with him ever seems to make sense at least as far as I can tell.
I know I can't fix him and can't live his life and I definitely can't MAKE him see reason. It doesn't mean I have to like it though. It makes me so sad...
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Independence Day
Well, I have been here in my FL home for three weeks. Although I miss the Son desperately, my life has taken on a calm it hasn't had in a long time. The stress level seems to have dropped. (I hope that means my hair will quit falling out). CC and I are really two peas in a pod. I don't think things with us could be much better. We have this fit that is hard to explain but it's good.
We have been busy over the past week. We refinished the 3rd bedroom. Changed hardware, painted doors, etc. It totally finished but it looks soooooo much better than it did before. No popcorn on the ceiling, a nice paint, furniture, etc. We are very happy with they way it turned out.
We went to the Dunedin Brewery on Sunday last. It was a really neat place. They say they are the oldest craft brewery in the state. (Old is 16 years... really?) They did have some very delicious beverages on tap. I had a refreshing Apricot Peach Ale. It was a great combination and went down well. Awesome for a hot day.
Wednesday was Independence Day. What does that mean? Bacon explosion! Yep, we made our bacon explosion, smoked on the grill. YUM! YUM! Later that evening we took off for Dunedin to catch the fireworks at the ballpark where the Blue Jays spring train. They were nice, it wasn't overly crowded and we were home in 10 minutes. You really just can't beat that. Thursday I worked. We had so many people out I just couldn't
take off. I did manage to take off work today though. We had a great day! We slept in and then gathered up some towels, jumped in the car and took the girls to the dog beach. DeSoto park in St. Petersburg has a dog beach where the dogs can run off leash and play in the water. The park is beautiful. The views in and out were tremendous. It was a wonderful trip. The dogs had never been and we thought they would like the treat. Daisy seemed to really enjoy herself. Maddie, well she was okay with it while she was chasing other dogs but after that she seemed to be nervous. I think all of the water and activity really seemed to get to her. We ended up not staying very long but we did have a great time. We came home in time for lunch and a swim. Napping while floating in the
pool is something to not underestimate. It was extremely relaxing. We barbecued some chicken for dinner and wrapped up our evening with a movie. Fantastic day and now here comes the weekend!
We have been busy over the past week. We refinished the 3rd bedroom. Changed hardware, painted doors, etc. It totally finished but it looks soooooo much better than it did before. No popcorn on the ceiling, a nice paint, furniture, etc. We are very happy with they way it turned out.
We went to the Dunedin Brewery on Sunday last. It was a really neat place. They say they are the oldest craft brewery in the state. (Old is 16 years... really?) They did have some very delicious beverages on tap. I had a refreshing Apricot Peach Ale. It was a great combination and went down well. Awesome for a hot day.Wednesday was Independence Day. What does that mean? Bacon explosion! Yep, we made our bacon explosion, smoked on the grill. YUM! YUM! Later that evening we took off for Dunedin to catch the fireworks at the ballpark where the Blue Jays spring train. They were nice, it wasn't overly crowded and we were home in 10 minutes. You really just can't beat that. Thursday I worked. We had so many people out I just couldn't
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| Waiting for the fireworks! |
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| On the drive into the park |
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| Maddie finally went swimming! |
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| Everybody's happy!! |
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| On the way back across to St. Pete |
Monday, July 2, 2012
It's the End of the World as We Know It
I don't really know about the end of the world, but a piece of me is really hurting. I have still not spoken to my son since the incident at the house. I have sent text messages but have not received a response. I have called w/o answer.
I received a phone call early Sunday morning around 2am. It was a police officer stating the Son was pulled over and has had some alcohol. He was not drunk but it was underage consumption. He was looking for someone to come and get him so he would not have to take the Son to juvenile detention. The officer stated the Son told him I was in Florida but the Dad and the Gigi did not answer their phones and he would need a call back with what relative could come and get him, otherwise he would be forced to take him in.
I began to scramble. I "blew up" the Dad's phone. Just called and called and called. Every time it went to VM I just hung up and called some more. I finally got through to Gigi (the Grandmother), who like me began calling the Dad. I finally got through to the Dad and told him what was going on, gave him the number to call for information etc. That was the last that I heard.
I had sent the Son a text, asking him to call me when he could, that I was able to get in touch with his Dad. No word. I tried calling a few times on Sunday, the phone went straight to VM. Roger, a friend of ours that always helped the Son with his cars sent a text Sunday afternoon asking if I could call him as he was wanting some tools of his back that the Son had borrowed. Namely, one of those scanner things with all the chips to do the electrical system of cars. Now I know darn good and well those things are very very expensive. I told Roger I had not spoken to him and he doesn't answer my texts. He says that he stopped at the Son's employer to talk to him but that they changed his hours to 10a-6p because the Son couldn't seem to get to work on time. They also said that he has not been himself in quite a while. Always saying that he is broke and asking if people want to buy some tools.
All of this makes me feel quite ill. I have given him money for his portion of rent and utilities. He is currently working full time and I give him an extra $150 with the rent, plus he just graduated from school and I sent $100 not to mention whatever else family and friends gave him for graduation. I can't understand where all of this is going. Does he not have enough sense to keep ANYTHING back for gas, etc.? Is he selling other people's possessions? Is he spending it all on alcohol and drugs? I have no idea and don't know what to think anymore. I lost control over him a long time ago and he had zero respect for me then and even less now. He quit taking his medication. The pharmacy called and stated it had not been picked up even though I sent him three messages it was ready and to use his insurance card and it would not cost him anything. I just had the store restock it.
I don't even know if he went to the orientation at school. I guess I really need to call and find out. He needs to go. I don't know what he thinks he will do without an education regardless of how he feels about me. I love him more than anything but I can't apologize for something that is not my fault nor I provoked which is what he wants. How would that do any good?
I am so worried about him and I don't know what to do. The Dad seems to believe everything that comes from the Son's mouth and is still hacked off about the incident at the house, that someone needs to "pay" for what was done to the Son. What he doesn't do, however, is try to actually be a parent. He seemed all inconvenienced that I called in the middle of the night for him to go and get the Son 25 miles from his home. I get those calls and I do it, no questions asked. I still can't figure out how I am such the villain in all of this.
Times change no matter how much we don't want them to. My Son was the best thing that ever happened to me so long ago. I never imagined all of this. How can this happen when all you ever do is love them? It's almost as if someone has died. I grieve over all of this but I don't know what else to do. He has to learn that everyone else doesn't have the world revolving around him as I did. I only hope that he does and doesn't go through life continuing to make such poor choices. I talked myself blue in the face over the past several months. All I can do now is pray.
I received a phone call early Sunday morning around 2am. It was a police officer stating the Son was pulled over and has had some alcohol. He was not drunk but it was underage consumption. He was looking for someone to come and get him so he would not have to take the Son to juvenile detention. The officer stated the Son told him I was in Florida but the Dad and the Gigi did not answer their phones and he would need a call back with what relative could come and get him, otherwise he would be forced to take him in.
I began to scramble. I "blew up" the Dad's phone. Just called and called and called. Every time it went to VM I just hung up and called some more. I finally got through to Gigi (the Grandmother), who like me began calling the Dad. I finally got through to the Dad and told him what was going on, gave him the number to call for information etc. That was the last that I heard.
I had sent the Son a text, asking him to call me when he could, that I was able to get in touch with his Dad. No word. I tried calling a few times on Sunday, the phone went straight to VM. Roger, a friend of ours that always helped the Son with his cars sent a text Sunday afternoon asking if I could call him as he was wanting some tools of his back that the Son had borrowed. Namely, one of those scanner things with all the chips to do the electrical system of cars. Now I know darn good and well those things are very very expensive. I told Roger I had not spoken to him and he doesn't answer my texts. He says that he stopped at the Son's employer to talk to him but that they changed his hours to 10a-6p because the Son couldn't seem to get to work on time. They also said that he has not been himself in quite a while. Always saying that he is broke and asking if people want to buy some tools.
All of this makes me feel quite ill. I have given him money for his portion of rent and utilities. He is currently working full time and I give him an extra $150 with the rent, plus he just graduated from school and I sent $100 not to mention whatever else family and friends gave him for graduation. I can't understand where all of this is going. Does he not have enough sense to keep ANYTHING back for gas, etc.? Is he selling other people's possessions? Is he spending it all on alcohol and drugs? I have no idea and don't know what to think anymore. I lost control over him a long time ago and he had zero respect for me then and even less now. He quit taking his medication. The pharmacy called and stated it had not been picked up even though I sent him three messages it was ready and to use his insurance card and it would not cost him anything. I just had the store restock it.
I don't even know if he went to the orientation at school. I guess I really need to call and find out. He needs to go. I don't know what he thinks he will do without an education regardless of how he feels about me. I love him more than anything but I can't apologize for something that is not my fault nor I provoked which is what he wants. How would that do any good?
I am so worried about him and I don't know what to do. The Dad seems to believe everything that comes from the Son's mouth and is still hacked off about the incident at the house, that someone needs to "pay" for what was done to the Son. What he doesn't do, however, is try to actually be a parent. He seemed all inconvenienced that I called in the middle of the night for him to go and get the Son 25 miles from his home. I get those calls and I do it, no questions asked. I still can't figure out how I am such the villain in all of this.
Times change no matter how much we don't want them to. My Son was the best thing that ever happened to me so long ago. I never imagined all of this. How can this happen when all you ever do is love them? It's almost as if someone has died. I grieve over all of this but I don't know what else to do. He has to learn that everyone else doesn't have the world revolving around him as I did. I only hope that he does and doesn't go through life continuing to make such poor choices. I talked myself blue in the face over the past several months. All I can do now is pray.
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