I don't really know about the end of the world, but a piece of me is really hurting. I have still not spoken to my son since the incident at the house. I have sent text messages but have not received a response. I have called w/o answer.
I received a phone call early Sunday morning around 2am. It was a police officer stating the Son was pulled over and has had some alcohol. He was not drunk but it was underage consumption. He was looking for someone to come and get him so he would not have to take the Son to juvenile detention. The officer stated the Son told him I was in Florida but the Dad and the Gigi did not answer their phones and he would need a call back with what relative could come and get him, otherwise he would be forced to take him in.
I began to scramble. I "blew up" the Dad's phone. Just called and called and called. Every time it went to VM I just hung up and called some more. I finally got through to Gigi (the Grandmother), who like me began calling the Dad. I finally got through to the Dad and told him what was going on, gave him the number to call for information etc. That was the last that I heard.
I had sent the Son a text, asking him to call me when he could, that I was able to get in touch with his Dad. No word. I tried calling a few times on Sunday, the phone went straight to VM. Roger, a friend of ours that always helped the Son with his cars sent a text Sunday afternoon asking if I could call him as he was wanting some tools of his back that the Son had borrowed. Namely, one of those scanner things with all the chips to do the electrical system of cars. Now I know darn good and well those things are very very expensive. I told Roger I had not spoken to him and he doesn't answer my texts. He says that he stopped at the Son's employer to talk to him but that they changed his hours to 10a-6p because the Son couldn't seem to get to work on time. They also said that he has not been himself in quite a while. Always saying that he is broke and asking if people want to buy some tools.
All of this makes me feel quite ill. I have given him money for his portion of rent and utilities. He is currently working full time and I give him an extra $150 with the rent, plus he just graduated from school and I sent $100 not to mention whatever else family and friends gave him for graduation. I can't understand where all of this is going. Does he not have enough sense to keep ANYTHING back for gas, etc.? Is he selling other people's possessions? Is he spending it all on alcohol and drugs? I have no idea and don't know what to think anymore. I lost control over him a long time ago and he had zero respect for me then and even less now. He quit taking his medication. The pharmacy called and stated it had not been picked up even though I sent him three messages it was ready and to use his insurance card and it would not cost him anything. I just had the store restock it.
I don't even know if he went to the orientation at school. I guess I really need to call and find out. He needs to go. I don't know what he thinks he will do without an education regardless of how he feels about me. I love him more than anything but I can't apologize for something that is not my fault nor I provoked which is what he wants. How would that do any good?
I am so worried about him and I don't know what to do. The Dad seems to believe everything that comes from the Son's mouth and is still hacked off about the incident at the house, that someone needs to "pay" for what was done to the Son. What he doesn't do, however, is try to actually be a parent. He seemed all inconvenienced that I called in the middle of the night for him to go and get the Son 25 miles from his home. I get those calls and I do it, no questions asked. I still can't figure out how I am such the villain in all of this.
Times change no matter how much we don't want them to. My Son was the best thing that ever happened to me so long ago. I never imagined all of this. How can this happen when all you ever do is love them? It's almost as if someone has died. I grieve over all of this but I don't know what else to do. He has to learn that everyone else doesn't have the world revolving around him as I did. I only hope that he does and doesn't go through life continuing to make such poor choices. I talked myself blue in the face over the past several months. All I can do now is pray.
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