I went to lunch today with a guy I have known through work for many years. We have been friendly in a professional way, not unlike any other person in the company. Lunch was typical. I talked about CC and our upcoming vacation and how excited I am he is moving here soon. We discussed the fact my dog needed to go to the vet. Nothing out of the ordinary. Walked back to the office, talked for a few minutes before going back to work. Looked at all the pictures of CC and me, my son and departed.
About 30 minutes after he left I received a text message. Asked me if it was my personal phone or a work one as he was going through his phone. I took this as an innocent question as many of us have two phones and you want to make sure you are messaging or calling the right one. After I answered it was my personal phone, he made a bit of small talk and to make a long story short, basically said that I was a beautiful, confident intelligent woman and wanted to know if I was interested in being with him even if it was at least until CC moved here. I had to pick my jaw up off of my desk! I could not believe what had just happened. This is a married man with two small children (11 and 6). He had never given me any indication over the years of any of this. I can usually see this kind of thing coming a mile away. This smacked me in the back of the head! I texted him back, stated not interested in no uncertain terms.
When I got to speak with CC after work I told him about what happened. I told him how disturbing this whole situation was and that it really bothered me. He is right saying that I should be insulted. Insulted that someone would think that I have so little morals or respect for my significant other that I would even consider such a thing, or have that little respect for the fact he is married with children.
I have gone over and over this whole thing in my mind. I have not done anything to have brought on this advance. I was once told by a former boyfriend that all men want to sleep with me and that I am kidding myself thinking that men and women can be "just friends". He said that even if that is the way that I see it, all men are just biding their time. I don't think that is true. But I definitely did not see this as something this particular person would do. It really has shaken me. There has never been any indication this was coming.
I have always considered myself a good judge of character but now I know that I can be fooled. I guess it all goes to show that sometimes you really don't know the people you know. Something I won't soon forget.
I've known people in the past that like the attention from being hit on completely inappropriately. If he hadn't known your situation and hadn't been married, I would tell you to be flattered, but as it is, it was disrespectful and creepy. Kudos to you for recognizing it.
ReplyDeleteblech!
ReplyDeleteI think you handled that well. I also disagree about the inability of men and women to be platonic. I have tons of platonic male friends with whom I have never breached that line. I think SOME men and SOME women are unable to maintain platonic relationships, but that's their loss. My ex, for example, talks about all these female friends he had, his best friend was a girl, blah blah, and turned out, he'd slept with all of them. Those aren't "friends!"
Just be glad you're not with someone like that. Someone else snatched up the "winner" and had kids with him so others (should) never have to deal with holding the short end of THAT stick (pun intended).