Christmas

It's Christmas.  I'm here and CC is there in FL.  It hasn't been an awful day.  The Son seems happy and so there is peace in the house.  No presents to open here so there is no Christmas excitement or spirit to speak of in the house.

The Son left to go to his father's side of the family for Christmas and I went to see my mother and my grandmother.  My grandmother had been in the hospital recently  for a severe drop in her blood sugar and has been released but is staying with my mother.  My mother is a bit of a pack rat bordering on hoarder and it isn't the greatest place to be.  I believe my grandmother said it made her feel "anxious".  I confess, it does me too.  I asked my mother if she missed counter space and she said "she is used to it".  Hmmmm.

There are too many other battles to fight within my family.  Grandma lives on a 23 acre farm.  Mom lives on 2-3 acres in Doe Valley on a lake.  The problem is most of the property is wooded and the house is on a huge hill.  She cannot take care of the inside much less all of the outside so basically it is an overgrown mess.

The farm is about 7 acres of cleared land and 16 acres of woods/pasture.  Generally all of the maintenance and upkeep on both places is done by me.  I also have my own place to take care of.  It is very much a full time job.  Somehow I get at least the bare minimum done.

The point of it all is neither of them need to be living in these type of places as they cannot even begin to take care of them.  If you have trouble walking to get your mail, chances are you are living in the wrong place.  I have tried for two years to tell them I will be moving and to please sell the homes.   I have told them they can move to Florida and live with me, they can buy a home close by, they can move into something a bit smaller without landscape work in the same area but they didn't need to own so much land.  Of course, it all falls on deaf ears.  I think my grandmother is more inclined than my mother.  As my grandmother is Filipino, the weather in Clearwater is reminiscent of how winters are in the Philippines.  This Midwest stuff is really for the birds.  The problem is, she will not leave my mother and my mother will not begin to get rid of her "treasures".  So... Here we are, another Christmas with barely places to sit, small paths to walk through and stubborn people unwilling to change.

I'm numb to it by now.  I have convinced myself that all I can do is try and if they do not take me up on it, well, it's beyond my control.  I love them both dearly but this holiday the frailty of them both really has brought their mortality to the forefront.  I do not want them living their lives in that mess.  I know they are happy and they are not "hoarders in the typical sense.  No food, junk on the floor, just organized piles of things they haven't seen in a long time.  If I saw bugs, it would be a totally different issue but it seems okay health wise right now.

I am happy they are both with me this holiday and I know there won't be many more. I just wish I could do more to help but the situation is so overwhelming.  Unless they decide to do something, there isn't much I can do.  I just really hope I don't inherit all of their "treasures"..