I think the Son and the GF are at it again. His hands are all torn up. I have no idea what he has been hitting. I just watched him beat the crap out of his bed. He is angry and hurt and I can understand that but he has absolutely no control. He screams, not at me or really anyone but more like a release. I so worry about him but I don't know what to do. He trashed that little phone. Now he sees why I won't buy another of any quality. It's pointless. When he is like this he doesn't listen. It's awful to watch. He was crying when he was downstairs with me. I can't imagine how it must be to have so much bottled in and no release. It doesn't excuse his behavior but one would think he would embrace help when it is provided to him. I don't know. It will be a long hard road for him especially with women. This is his first real love and I knew this would happen when it fell apart.
He has anger issues as it is and this is something well beyond anything he has ever experienced. I don't know how to help him. I wish I did. I have tried taking him to therapy, had him in a treatment facility. Once he calms down, he is actually quite lucid, sane, etc. You would never know he had this in him. I have known since he was small but for the most part he has always been pretty happy go lucky. Is there a rock bottom to hit when you have anger issues? What is it that will make someone seriously seek treatment instead of being forced by a parent or court? He seriously needs some coping skills but when he is calm, he blows it off and doesn't feel that he has a problem. Kind of like an alcoholic or drug addict. Nothing is wrong.... I'm scared it will get him killed one day. If not by an other's hand, by his own. He scares me to death driving a car. All of that pent up anger taken out on a car? Our roads are extremely curvy, two lane things that have taken more than a few lives.
Apparently this whole incident has been going on all day. He called the GF when he was in the car with me and lost his mind, screamed, threw the phone in the floor and began beating on his leg. (Probably because he couldn't beat the dash like he did in his car). I couldn't tell anything from the 45 seconds of call I heard. He asked where she was or has been and he started to yell (or be extremely loud) about something like she needed to use her head, she is not always right. Then he yelled to listen a few times then hung up the phone and that is when the screaming started. He was so red in the face and the veins in his neck were popping out. I don't know what is going on between them but they need to be on or off. This dimmer switch of hot and lukewarm is starting to wear on my nerves. No wonder my hair is falling out.
He continues with the suicide/wanting to die talk. It has gotten to the point to where a person can become almost numb due to hearing it so often. Some may say he is reaching out but I reach back and get nothing. I guess it all sounds good and maybe it's manipulation, maybe it's serious. I don't know. All I know is that anytime he is distressed he talks about it or that he would just die, etc. He has for years. A cry for help it may be but I have tried to talk to him, be a sounding board, etc. I have gotten him professional help 3-4 times all to no avail. What else is there? The last place I had him I thought they should medicate him and keep him for at least a month. They only kept him for 2-3 days and then sent him home on a multi-vitamin. Really? That's all you got? I was disgusted. When I talked to one of my social workers at work, she did not have anything good to say about the place he was in or for the doctor he saw while he was there. So, where do you go to get someone to take you and your son seriously? I've tried. Every time I would try to get him in somewhere there was always a 6-8 week wait for an appt. Whatever happened to striking while the iron was hot? It makes absolutely no sense to me. That is like having appendicitis but being told they can't do surgery for two months. Get real here people.
I see three options in his future. The first but most unlikely is that he will eventually see that he needs help and will seek it. The second is that he will get some doormat for a wife/girlfriend and will make her life a living hell, being on a roller coaster all the time. The third is that this will culminate in him getting himself killed.
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